So, I kinda screwed something up a little within the past few days. Maybe more than a little. I shan’t go into the specific details, but I’ll just say that it provided for some interesting experiences.
I probably should have known better looking in retrospect, but of course, hindsight is always viewed in perfect 20/20. Would I have the perfect understanding of the causality of decisions and situations things could be easier, but, then again, were I to have infinite wisdom and knowledge I would be God… an office I am unfit to carry. I digress.
To the offended party, and yes I refer to a singular person, I apologize. They did not, in so many words, express their offense, but if working with teenagers has taught me one thing, it is the ability to read what is behind the words of a person. Yes, though the words expressed some form of neutrality, I could see plainly, as with a pair of X-Ray goggles, the underlying emotions through the eyes, the tone of voice, and the very words and phrases chosen to form the sentences. Rest assured, no malicious scheme was intended in this process on my part, despite how it may seem. It was in good fun, though good fun is obviously a subjective element, and what is fun for one may be pain for another. Again, my apologies.
To those who are not “in-the-know” of this situation, my words may be confusing or lead your mind to wander and conjure up random possibilities and scenerios of what I speak of, but rest assured, you are most likely wrong. And, I am sorry to say, but you will continue to be “not ‘in-the-know’.” It is how things must be.
Of course lessons have been learned. As I said, hindsight is 20/20. Old mistakes shall not be remade Consequences shall be lived out, as they should, for the retribution is just.
It is funny though. Certain aspects of this occurrence should weigh heavier on my soul than they actually do. Certain things should bring about worry and fear of the unknown. “What shall I do as the repercussions of this mistake reach their fruition?” “How (literally) will I survive?” But these things do not bother me. I have no fear or worry. The future is not bleak and frightful, but rather full of possibility and hope. It is as if the peace of God is over me as his promise rings true in my heart that even my mistakes will be turned around to benefit me in the end. One of these benefits, I think, has already made it’s presence known in a phone call I received while I was not near my phone. A return-call will find the truth out.
No, all is well. I cannot live in regret of the past other than to remember the moral of the story. It is as Pastor Carlos says, “Learn the lesson. Forget the details.” His words are wise beyond our understanding.
The ability to laugh at one’s self is an important trait to develop. I have repeatedly, day after day, made a fool of myself in one way or another. The ability to laugh at my mistakes and move on is something that allows me to move through life, living it to the full, and not be bogged down with regrets of things I cannot change. I think if more people learned this, our stress level as a society would diminish. I cannot change the past. I wish I could, but then again, I would be dabbling in divine powers. I can only live in the present with hopes of the future. And to that I shall.